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7 Reasons for Forgiveness in Marriage
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Hi, Jesus loves you.
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness- Josh Billings. Lack of forgiveness in marriage has led to many separations and divorces. A Lasting relationship demands that the couple learn the act of forgiveness. To forgive may not be the easiest thing to do but it certainly is the wisest thing to do.
Forgiveness is one of the pillars of a successful marriage. Understanding the power of forgiveness will empower you to face and conquer any challenge that comes your way in Marriage.
Reasons for forgiveness in marriage
1. Love
‘Tis the most tender part of love, each other to forgive – John Sheffield. If you really love your spouse you will forgive him or her. It is difficult for people to forgive when the love is not there or is waning down. Yes, some circumstances can be very trying but love will surely conquer. For instance, God shows and clearly proves His (own) love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us – (Romans 5:8, AMP)
2. Reciprocation
You are also liable to err too. You are to do to people (including your spouse) what you would want them to do to you. You may say that you will never do what he/she did but what if you do the one that he/ she will never do. That is why Christ said in Luke 6:37, “judge not, and you shall not be judged: condemn not, and you shall not be condemned; forgive, and you shall be forgiven” For every successful marriage, the act of forgiveness must be applied.
3. Gift to yourself
“It really doesn’t matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on.” – Real Live Preacher. When you are holding your spouse down in your heart in un-forgiveness, you are also holding yourself down. You are hindering your own progress. Let go and move on. To enjoy your marital blessings you need to walk in forgiveness in marriage. (more…)
How to Overcome Sudden Fear Attack
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Hi Jesus loves you
Have you ever been attacked by a sudden fear, where all manner of negative thoughts are flooding your mind and you feel the worst is about to happen? Fear attack is common but how you respond to it determines how long it will linger in your mind and the extent of its effect on you. And for you to respond positively, you need to understand how to overcome fear.
One thing you must assure yourself, to be able to overcome fears, is that fear is not of God. God cannot give you what He doesn’t have. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Fear is of the devil and is the opposite of faith. When faith comes in, fear disappears.
Another thing you must assure yourself is that you can overcome any sudden fear. Fear no more has any power over you except the one you give it. Romans 8:15 (KJV) says, “For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear…” Also Proverbs 3:25 (AMP) says, “BE not afraid of sudden terror…” As a child of God, you have the power to overcome fear.
Now, how do you overcome sudden fear attacks?
- Apply the break to your thoughts.
First thing you need to do is to consciously stop the fearful thoughts from flooding through your mind. Say NO to the devil and refuse to think on those negative thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:5 encourages us to cast down imaginations, and everything that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
- Take refuge under God’s love
You need to assure yourself that God loves you and will not allow any evil to come on you as His child. God said He will never leave you nor forsake you – Hebrews 13:5. When you remember that God is with you, the peace of God will come on you. As a father loves his children so God loves and takes care of us. (more…)
7 Steps On How to Control Anger.
0January 12, 2011
Jesus loves you also
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a city” King Solomon. Anger is destructive and is a destroyer of destinies. Many people have lost jobs, relationships, and opportunities, all because of anger. Also, some people are in prison houses, wasting their fruitful years simply because they did not control their anger. Anger is an emotion that must be controlled before it destroys your great future.
You need to understand that anger stems from selfishness, lack of wisdom and understanding. In Ecclesiastes 7:9, Solomon made it clear that anger rests in the bosom of fools. A man of wisdom and understanding will control his anger and overlook certain wrongs done to him. People get angry because they are considering themselves, how bad their pride or ego has been injured, how their time, energy or money was wasted, etc.
Does it mean you are never to be angry? I will say NO, because there is also time for you to be angry. For instance, you need to be angry enough when things are not working well to force yourself to take steps to change the situation. The question is what do you do when you are angry? Also how long does it linger? Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be ye angry and sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (KJV)
So, how do you control Anger before it destroys your future?
- Make a decision not to be easily angered.
When my mentor, David Oyedepo, learned that anger lies in the bosom of fools, he made a decision to forgive people even before they wrong him. This attitude will keep anger far from you no matter what people say or do to you.
- Don’t consider you first.
Sometimes, people don’t intentionally do things to make you angry. Be wise enough to take a breath and consider the scenario before acting. Through experience, I have learned that that short break diffuses the anger and allows you to think well and make the right decision.
- Make no friendship with a hot tempered man
Evil communication corrupts good manners. If you continue with such a person, you will learn his/her ways and snare your future. Proverbs 22:24-25
- Watch your words
Words are powerful and are seeds that when declared will bring forth a harvest. Don’t confess how easily you get angry; instead say how difficult it is for you to get angry. Let the words – anger or angry – not be part of your usual vocabulary. (more…)
How to Forgive Someone and Forget
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Hi there, Jesus loves you!
“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.” Lewis B.Smedes. To some people, learning how to forgive someone is one thing and to forget is another thing. But the truth is that when you actually forgive, and you remember the incidence later, it will be with no pain/hurt attached.
Unforgiveness imprisons a person and yields the person over to the control of the offender. The consequences of not forgiving, is too costly for anyone to consider harbouring it. Forgiveness on the other hand is the best revenge; it really provokes anyone who offends on purpose.
Steps on how to forgive someone
- It takes humility- Without humility, true forgiveness is impossible. Our pride is usually what is wounded when we are offended. Overcome pride and forgiveness is easy. So, if you are struggling with unforgiveness, check your pride, it may be the obstacle to your victory.
- Ask for divine help- Sometimes, you really want to forgive and forget but the hurt is so deep and may be you are still physically suffering from the result of that offence, there is need for you to ask God to help you forgive the offender. God is ever ready to help us when we reach out to Him for help. Remember Jesus too had to forgive us all our sins and He remembers them no more.
- Choose to pray for the person- This diverts your attention from the pain to the wellbeing of the offender. It snatches the power to hurt you from the offender. Practice this and you will see that the anger will fizzle out.
- Go an extra mile- If you are still fighting with not forgiving, take some steps to help the offender in any way you can. Buy him a gift or take care of one or two things for him. That should drain any trace of effect the pain still has on you.
- Grow in the Lord- A matured Christian has the capacity to absorb the weaknesses of others and to forgive all offences. The more of God within you, the more of God you manifest. So build up your spiritual life in Christ and you will find it very easy to forgive and forget. (more…)
Understanding the Deadly Force of Unforgiveness
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Everyone often gets the opportunity to be mistreated, hurt, annoyed but what you do afterwards is what matters. Life is too short to allow this deadly force called unforgiveness to ruin it for you. “The hatred you’re carrying is a live coal in your heart – far more damaging to yourself than to them” Lawana Blackwell
To err is human; to forgive is divine, they say. But we have been given the power to forgive. The power of forgiveness is awesome because of the immense benefits to the one who forgives. It is all about what you want in life and how far you want to go. Unforgiveness is a force that has the power to influence, affect or control you and your future negatively.
When a person understands the effect of this deadly force, a red light flashes on the heart when unforgiveness comes knocking on the door. This force is so deadly that it has ruined many relationships, careers, businesses, led many to their sick beds and many to their early graves.
Why you must resist unforgiveness
- It gives your offender the power to hurt you-Any time you remember the offence or see the person or even hear his/her name mentioned, you will get angry or be emotionally worked up. And if the offender is aware of this effect on you and he is a bad one, he may choose to add to the injury with more offences.
- Your health is affected-When your anger is boiling; it increases your heartbeat, tightens your muscles, and causes aches and pains. And may lead to more serious medical issues if not checked on time.
- Reduces your ability to focus-Unforgiveness has the power to disrupt the harmony of the brain waves, making you less able to focus and think clearly. This can lead to poor decision making, which is not good for your future!
- It impedes your progress in life-When you are holding down someone, you too will go nowhere. This is the case with this deadly force. When you hold someone down in your heart, you are actually imprisoning yourself too.
- It plants a seed of what you hate-A seed planted will produce fruit after sometime. Unforgiveness harboured within you will grow to produce same in you. You will find yourself doing exactly the very thing that was done to you (that you hated) to someone else.
This deadly force drains your energy, wastes your time for more profitable ventures. Unforgivenes shows you are weak because forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Embrace the power of forgiveness and avoid the effects of this deadly force. Why give yourself all the stress for something or somebody that is not worth it.
Furthermore, the scriptures tell us to forgive if we want to be forgiven by our heavenly father. Matt 6:15, Matt 18:35, Luke 6:37, etc. Besides we are to be like Christ who forgave us our sins while we yet disobeying the commands of God. Romans 5:8, Act 5:31
“It really doesn’t matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on.” Real Live Preacher
What other reasons do you have for resisting unforgiveness?
Ifeoma nwoke
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