Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it- King Solomon. Bring up children, though not an easy task is a must for all parents and guardians. And the quality of the product of a child training is dependent on the method and tools used in the process.
Every responsible parent desires to see his/her children grow up into responsible and respectful adults. They want them to be successful, secured and balanced in life. They want their children to make them proud and not bring shame to them. These are beautiful and achievable dreams but can only be realised with the use of these two powerful tools: Love and Control.
Bringing up children requires that you employ 100% of love and control. Implementing more of one than the other will produce an unbalanced adult. Many disciplinarians tend to use more of control and those that are more liberal tend to use more of love. These practices will affect the way the child thinks, talks and behaves.
A child brought up in an environment full of love will feel secured and will have no need to seek love outside the home. The terrible thing about going outside the home is that he/she may run into the wrong hands, people who will lead them astray and make them to be rebellious.
I believe that parents do love their children but they need to consistently demonstrate this love to them. You need to hug, kiss and complement them always. Also you need to provide their basic needs and encourage them all the time. Emphasizing their weak points is not advisable. Instead emphasize their strong points and help them with their weak points. And please don’t call them names!
On the other hand, showing them love and leaving them to do whatever they like is mere destroying them without knowing it. Child training entails that you also discipline or control your children. Children need to be guided and shown the right path to take in life. They only follow the leadership that is more compelling than the others.
Law is order in liberty, and without order liberty is social chaos- Archbishop Ireland. There is need for you to have rules that must be obeyed and rewards for disobedience must be given out. Children who learn to obey their parents always obey constituted authorities, including God’s instructions.
Now, disciplining your children without showing them love at the same time will produce defiant children. Sometimes, they may even question the truth of you being their parent and this is not a good sign. There is need for you to balance discipline with love.
Bringing up children really is a responsibility that requires a lot of wisdom. Every action towards them should have a selfless motive; it should all be for their own good. Develop a relationship of mutual trust with your children or wards. This will help them to accept any disciplinary measures in good faith. But ensure that every control measure meted is commensurate to the offence.
Love and control are really powerful tools for child training. If you have a problem child, it is not late to make amends. Change your approach and attitudes towards him or her and ask God for help. Research more on how to handle every stage of their lives. The best is yet to come out of them.
What else can you use in training your children or wards?
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